I don't think I ever had a quote board in college. But I did have a lot of ridiculous friends who said a lot of dumb things. And I love them for that. This morning I was on the train and I saw a guy who looked like my friend John. I started grinning mostly because when I think of John, I always think of a line he heard one of my friends say and remembers to this day.
SCENE: It is the spring of my junior year of college, and the morning after "Cannonfest," which was a gathering of 800 people (or 100 for every state cruiser it turned out) on my front lawn. The event, named after an old civil war cannon gracing the front lawn, drew people out to Madbury NH (off campus! gasp!) from campus and literally throughout New England (the party was named one of the top 10 events at UNH that year). A friend of mine brought his band and rocked our house for 2 effing hours. They were at one point interrupted by a former roomate of mine who got tired of demanding Sublime covers and grabbed the mic and oozed out some vowels that we think were intended to be "What I Got." But that is a mystery for the ages. At this point an old psycho guy on a motorcycle who was on his way to a pig roast (only in NH), tried to drive his chopper into my basement. In other words, good party.
Anyway, back to the scene. Bodies are strewn everywhere across my living room, wrapped in blankets and blanket-like substitutes (carpets work). I somehow get downstairs (is it 6am? Noon? The truth may never be known) and overhear this conversation:
Guy #1: Oh man. I am SO hungry.... Screw Breakfast. I want mashed potatoes. Oh a plate of mashed potatoes would be so awesome....
Guy #2: Not with my dick in it.
(Pause)
Guy #1: I'm so hungry, I'd eat around the dick.
A few seconds later, all of the blankets begin shaking, and eventually burst out in hangover-be-damned laughter. The various cocoons of friends and strangers just keep laughing and I am sitting on the stairs smoking a Benson & Hedges reminding myself to remember this moment. The best part? We have no idea who said it. It needs no attribution though.
Epilogue: Former "vowel-concerned" roomate wakes up and has to drive all the way back up to norther NH in his boxers. Why? His pants were in the oven.